Children (1-3): Paul moves on to the second area of submission and now speaks directly to believing children[1] about the Lord’s will for them in the home. They are to obey their parents. This obedience is to be like all other types of Christian submission to authority: “in the fear of Christ” (5:21). The reason for obedience is very straightforward: it is the righteous thing to do.[2] There is more to their submission than just doing what they’re told. Paul adds to obedience honor. Just doing the right thing is an inadequate form of godliness for believing children. God wants both the right action and the right attitude. With this second imperative, Paul also appeals to the Decalogue in which this injunction is given with a promise of longevity, which is desirable.[3]
Fathers (4): Fathers[4] have the positive duty in the home to bring up their children in the Lord’s discipline and instruction. This assumes that the fathers know the Lord and are capable of maturing their children toward godly living which Christ taught us. This is also predicated on the proper use of the rod.[5] Paul also limits the fathers’ duty by disallowing provocation.[6]
[1] Paul speaks directly to believing children. This is evident from the context where submission is to be “in the Lord” and it is out of the overflow of being filled with the Spirit (5:18-21) that one submits. Scripture teaches that children can be regenerated and saved (Luke 18:15-17), and that they can receive the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:39). Also, by “children,” Paul does not speak of adult children. This is evident in the corresponding duty of fathers to bring them up (6:4) which speaks of young children who are in need of bringing up.
[2] The term for “right [di-kai-os (δίκαιος)]” is “righteous” or “just” in the Greek. In the sight of God obedience to parents is simply righteous (Rom. 1:28-31). Thus, the Lord submitted to His parents as a child (Luke 2:51).
[3] While being with the Lord is desirable and preferred (Phil. 1:21-23; 2 Cor. 5:8), Scripture does not promote a death wish attitude for the saints. Instead, long life is an incentive for godliness: Pro. 3:16; 4:10; 1 Pet. 3:10.
[4] Even though some translate “fathers [pa-tēr (πατήρ)]” as “parents” (NIV), given that Paul avoids re-using the word “parents [go-neus (γονεύς]]” (6:1) shows us he is speaking of fathers in particular.
[5] The biblical rod of discipline is meant to be an instrument of correction, not a senseless, impetuous or reckless instrument of anger/violence that can harm or destroy a human being (Ex. 21:20; Pro. 19:18; 23:13).
[6] Fathers may provoke their children in many ways: unreasonable expectations, coldness (no affections), favoritism, various forms of deprivation, belittlement (to devalue or treat as worthless), injustice (no justice or fairness in the home), lawlessness (does not set down any rules), neglect, harshness (or criticism or verbal abuse) and excessive discipline (or physical abuse).