Know & Honor (7): Just as a wife has her God-given duty (submission), so the husband also has a responsibility from God in marriage: to know and to honor his wife. As a married man himself,[1] Peter points out two practical facets of how a man should treat his wife. First, he is to know her. More specifically, he is to live with her “according to knowledge.” The husband is to be intimately aware[2] of her limits (esp. physical). He is to be sensitive to her, certainly, physically, but in other ways also (spiritually, emotionally, etc.) as her provider and protector. Second, he is to show her honor. This is biblical chivalry. She is to be precious to him and he is to show that in the way he talks to her, treats her, appreciates her, etc. She possesses a status equal to that of his own (“as a fellow heir”) in God’s blessing of marriage (“the grace of life”).
Peace (8-9): We are to be a community of peace (3:11). This is what Jesus prayed for, a trinity-like unity, and this is what the rest of the NT confirms is the will of God.[3] Peter points out five traits that promote this type of peace: harmony, sympathy, brotherly love, compassion, and humility. These are the Christian virtues that make for peace. When we face relational challenges, we follow in the footsteps of Christ and take no vengeance (“not returning evil for evil or insult for insult”), but instead, we bless (“giving a blessing instead”). This is the pathway of Christ (2:23; Luke 23:34) and the lifestyle of pilgrims on their way to heaven (Matt. 5:9; Acts 7:60). We are peacemakers.
[1] Peter was a married man. This is evident from 1 Cor. 9:5 and the reference to his mother-in-law (Matt. 8:14). Peter speaks from experiences and addresses the very practical areas of knowing and honoring one’s wife.
[2] The word for “understanding” or “knowledge” is gnō-sis (γνῶσις), which is relational/intimate knowledge.
[3] Jesus prayed for this, looking ahead to the church age in John 17:11, 20-21. Cf. Rom. 12:4-5; 14:19; 15:5-7; 1 Cor. 1:10; 2 Cor. 13:11; Gal. 3:28; Eph. 2:14-15; 4:2-6, 13; Col. 3:12-15; Phil. 1:27; Tit. 3:10.